I need an adult.

Here’s the thing about me. I’m pretty much incapable of creating structure for myself. If I don’t have things like work or boy spawns or delicious food-related events to ensure I get up at a reasonable hour, then by god I am going to sleep until my legs start to twitch because they haven’t moved in seventeen hours and are possibly starting to atrophy. Just because it’s my god given American right to do so. If I don’t take advantage of this delicious, blanket burrito shaped freedom, WHO WILL?

Also, eating. If there’s no one around to keep me on a regular eating schedule, I will most likely shove a handful of whatever carbohydrate is handy into my mouth and wash it down with some diet coke or maybe crystal light or possibly vodka if the timing is right. (I should note here that the timing is rarely right.)  

Basically? Without outside forces keeping me in line, I live my life like an eleven year old allowed to spend spring break home alone for the first time.

I think it’s that thing that grown ups call “a lack of discipline” but I’m not positive.

  

Expectations for my first boyspawn and social engagement free weekend of the year:

1. SO MANY WORDS, OMG. GOOD WILL HUNTING PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO COUNT THAT HIGH, Y’ALL.
2. Maybe some laundry if I have time?

Reality:

1. I read three books from start to finish
2. I had a dance party in my underwear
3. I wrote a blog post about why Ryan Gosling is a douchebag but I love him anyway and tied it into character development and puzzle pieces? I don’t know either, guys.
4. I learned all the words to It’s the End of the World As We Know It because I thought it would be a good theme song, but it turns out it wasn’t.
5. I cleaned my bathroom for maybe the first time all year? (This is a judgment free zone, guys.)
6.  I did seven loads of laundry
7. I wrote for a total of maybe 6 hours in a 48 hour time period

The thing about having unlimited time to write? Is that I tell myself I have unlimited time to write, so I can do all these other things I haven’t been doing because I’ve been squeezing writing into every free second I have. 

And while it was a refreshing weekend after a very busy couple of weeks, and before the incredibly insane few weeks that are coming, it wasn’t necessarily very productive. I did make some measurable headway, but not enough for an entire weekend alone.

So, who has two thumbs, a tendency to procrastinate and a need for structure if she is to be productive? THIS GIRL.

Life lessons, guys. Life lessons.