don't call it a come back

...but i came back.

not that i really left. i've still been working toward the same goal, but a myriad--a plethora, even--of things have kept me from blogging about it. i had some computer issues which was pretty much sucksauce. and then i had to travel for work for a bit. and then there was other stuff.

like Comic Con! which was so super fun. i met so many amazing people i'd only previously known through the internets--including some really inspiring authors like tahereh mafi, laini taylor, stephanie perkins, andrea cremer, kiersten white, nathan bransford, and amanda hocking. it was a code fangirl situation. they were all so gracious and sweet, and i'm still a little tingly at the notion that i got to have an actual conversation with the people who have been so inspirational over the past year or so.

i wish i'd gotten some pictures with them, but turns out all i got were me posing with a cheesetastic grin with random people in costumes. and legos.

can you see how terrified i am?

i may have had ulterior motives for this one...

welcome to the gun show.

so yeah. that happened.

also. remember that post where i talked about how ALLL BYYYY MYYYYYSEEEELLLLF i was feeling in my n00b status in the writerly world? well, i fixed that. i wrangled up some of the best women i know--some right where i am, some way ahead, some on the cusp of some REALLY EXCITING THINGS OMG--and we formed White Blank Page. (Ten points if you get the reference.)

i am so lucky to have these other five talented women in my corner. they are endlessly inspiring in their critiques, encouragement, commiseration and ass kicking. having accountability partners and a support system in this process has done wonders not only for my motivation, but my self-esteem. i know they won't let me fail, and more... i know that with them at my side, failure isn't possible.

and i won't even try to lie, seeing my name in the acknowledgments when they all become super famous NYT bestsellers won't hurt my feelings either.

OH! AND!

as a little blogwarming gift, if you will, i am also holding a contest over at White Blank Page to win my signed ARC of Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor. it is amaaaaazing. it's the kind of story--like the classic, epic fantasies before it--that is meant to be enjoyed by many, and for many years to come. and now, YOU can enjoy it more than a month before it hits bookshelves.


all you have to do is comment on this post here, telling me your all-time favorite book and why. and boom. entered. 

please do it. even though giving away my copy makes me a little sad (my friends live in there!) i am also so excited to have the opportunity to share Laini's words with someone else. it's a truly unique and absolutely breathtaking story. 


so, there's that.

a setback. a breakthrough. or: why naps are necessary.

i don't usually outline. typically, i know the beginning and the end, and maybe some of the big events along the way. but all the little details in between that really make the story a story? yeah, i just let those happen naturally. the characters will tell me where to go. i find if i try to get all bossypants with them, they start giving me the silent treatment. there isn't much worse than that.

however, with my current project--what i've begun calling the Fancy and Whimsical Novel (or: FaWN, which is also fancy and whimsical. I'M SO META) in my head? the backstory is pretty involved, so i figured there was no way around it. i HAD to have some kind of outline in order to keep everything straight.

turns out that was probably not the best idea for me. i'm a little... obsessive, you might say? i get hung up on little details. a need to make everything symmetrical and even. to have all the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly. the outline became my everest. i was going to get it right if it was the last thing i did. i spent so much time on the damn thing, got so hung up on this one detail i didn't have completely defined in my head yet, that i STOPPED WRITING COMPLETELY.

i couldn't stop obsessing about THAT ONE THING. HOWWWWW was i going to make it work? maybe this way? no. this? uh uh. thisssssssssssssssssssssss? GODDAMNIT. NO.

so a few days ago i got so tired with the perpetual rending of my garments and gnashing of my teeth that i decided to take a break from it. give it a few days to percolate. i set my laptop (gently, lovingly) aside and curled up to sob nap.

and while i napped, not only did my brains unravel the complex mystery that was FaWN's backstory all by itself, but worked out the plot to the story i'd originally planned to write. so then i had not one BUT TWO characters knocking around in my head, each the antithesis of the other.

sophie's choice, yo.

i started thinking maybe it meant i lacked focus. that i wasn't cut out write either one of them. do real writers have these problems? did any of them sit there in front of their computers, struggling to decide what to write with what amounted to a girlie cage fight happening inside their head? (it's not as hot as it sounds, guys.)

probably not, i decided. with a long suffering sigh. i am le suck.

and then i told myself to shut the...um, front door and just start writing. see what happened. and i wrote about five thousand words in four hours. i don't know if that's good, bad or just mediocre on the real author scale, but on mine? it's pretty effing amazing.

new plan. new energy. clear eyes, clear head.

and no outline.
 
never again.